I like multiple girls. How do I decide between them?
One of them is a girl that I've liked for a while and I've taken her to a couple school dances. one of the other ones is a girl that is part of the LGBTQ community but I'm religious and the other one is a friend from a trade school I go to and she always seems friendly to me, but she's like that to everyone. How do I decide between them?
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Try not to feel pressured to make a decision on a timeline. I teach my clients to date multiple people at the same time, so they can compare and contrast. A lot of times, we are programmed to choose heartbreak and to choose dysfunction, especially if we saw it as children. It's helpful to date enough people that you can really identify patterns and make sure that your decisions are based upon your own feelings, not the feelings of others or what you think you should feel.
Ideally, the person you choose to keep dating is someone with whom it feels effortless, and like you've known them forever. You want to feel that you can be yourself and that you have lots in common. Those are all really good signs. If you're with someone where there are very high highs and very low lows, that's not a good sign. If they put you down or criticize you in any way or can't communicate well, those are all bad signs. You want to feel at peace and feel safe.
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Ideally, the person you choose to keep dating is someone with whom it feels effortless, and like you've known them forever. You want to feel that you can be yourself and that you have lots in common. Those are all really good signs. If you're with someone where there are very high highs and very low lows, that's not a good sign. If they put you down or criticize you in any way or can't communicate well, those are all bad signs. You want to feel at peace and feel safe.
Don't put pressure on yourself to decide unnaturally quickly. Often, it will become obvious over time. The most important qualities for a relationship are consistency, personal connection, mutual respect, and shared goals. These things only become apparent after you've gotten to know someone over a period of time.
Another thing I’d say is that you should prioritize people who prioritize you. We often focus on the qualities on paper. Are they physically attractive? Are they fun to hang out with? Do we have a connection? One of the most important, if not the most important, relationship-building qualities is consistent effort. So prioritize people who show up for you.
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Another thing I’d say is that you should prioritize people who prioritize you. We often focus on the qualities on paper. Are they physically attractive? Are they fun to hang out with? Do we have a connection? One of the most important, if not the most important, relationship-building qualities is consistent effort. So prioritize people who show up for you.
Hii lemme help uu! so I feel like in my opinion the girl u took to school dances I just feel like choose the one u feel most comfortable with and how they treat u !!
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the girl I took to the dances just friend zoned me and the LGBTQ broke up with her gf in January. the one at the trade school I believe just sees me as a friend.
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