Zoe Stoller Website

Zoe Stoller

Licensed Social Worker and LGBTQ+ Identity Expert

Zoe Stoller is an LGBTQ+ Social Worker and Educator based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. With 5 years of experience, Zoe is passionate about LGBTQ+ health and wellness and creates educational content on social media about LGBTQ identities. Through this work, they are helping to spread information and create free and accessible ways for people to engage in self-reflection and learn more about LGBTQ identities. As a content creator, they have also worked with brands like Google, Pinterest, TikTok, Hulu, and The Knot, sharing their message with a community of 100k+ followers. Zoe recently began a Master of Public Health program at Thomas Jefferson University with a goal of integrating their social work experience with community care into larger public health policy and advocacy skills. Zoe has a Master of Social Service from Bryn Mawr College and a BA in English from the University of Pennsylvania. Their work has been featured in BuzzFeed, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, The Verge, Philadelphia Gay News, and Shondaland.

Education

  • BA, English, University of Pennsylvania
  • MSS, Social Work, Bryn Mawr College
  • MPH, Public Health, Thomas Jefferson University (in progress)

Professional Achievements

  • Selected for Shondaland's 2022 "LGBTQ+ Leaders You Should Know" list
  • Received TikTok's 2020 Creative Learning Fund to support their educational LGBTQ+ work on social media
  • Represented their social work class as the 2023 Commencement Speaker for Bryn Mawr College's Graduate of Social Work and Social Research
  • Selected as the 2024 University of Pennsylvania Lavender Graduation Keynote Speaker in recognition of their work with the LGBTQ+ community

Certifications & Organizations

  • Licensed Social Worker, Pennsylvania (License # SW140320)

Favorite Piece of Advice

My favorite piece of advice is to invest time in getting to know yourself — who you are, what you want, what you need — and know that these details might change over time. The more you explore yourself and live a life authentic to who you are, the easier it is to ride through uncertainty into wonderful things that you might never have expected or aimed for otherwise.

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Forum Comments (9)

How do you come out to your parents that you are a femboy?
It's hard if you don't know whether your parents are going to be accepting, especially if you're young and need their assistance to access clothing and be able to express different kinds of gender presentations. I would say that each individual knows their parents/caretakers/families best and knows how they might best receive information. For example, if it feels best to have an in-person conversation where you can answer questions, explain how you're feeling, say why you need their help, and that feels like it would be a productive experience, then that's great. If it feels like more productive to, you know, write a letter or create some kind of presentation or artwork to describe how you're feeling and why you're going to them for help, and then leaving that with them so they can process their reaction, that's great too. If it feels best to have a friend or community member with you to help you, that would be great. Whatever you think would be the most productive and safest for you in having that conversation with your parents. And also know that you are young, and it is hard when your family does not allow you to experience and express this gender presentation that you desire, but as you grow older and have more agency, you will be able to access this even if your parents don't allow it right now. But I hope that they do.
How to get rid of homophobic bullies
Dealing with bullies is so hard because they don't really want to be educated or have their minds changed. They're really just dealing with their own issues and projecting them onto you. First, try to recognize that whatever unkind, mean things they're saying, or whatever homophobic things they're sharing, are not directly a reflection of you. It's a reflection of the messages that they've been taught, perhaps things that they feel about themselves, or just anything else that they have funneled from society into themselves and out into you. It's hard to not take it directly and personally, but trying to be able to separate yourself from the message a little bit is helpful, if only so that you don't internalize the messaging and believe unkind, homophobic things about yourself.

For the most part, if you can leave that environment, that's always the best situation. It's not always possible for everybody. But if possible, try not to exist in environments that are harmful for you. If there's a way to switch schools, switch classes, or find an ally or a teacher, those are all good options. Anything you can do to shift your environment hopefully will be helpful.
Am I a bisexual
Yes, that's an exciting, but also very confusing experience for sure. I would say, that if you feel like "bisexual" feels like an appropriate and accurate word for what you've experienced, then that's amazing. You don't have to have been attracted to a zillion women to be bisexual. Just know that that is your experience, and that you have the capacity to be attracted to more than one gender. If you wanted to, you could continue to label yourself as straight, or you could use a different label – you can use whatever label feels most accurate to you. But if bisexual feels like the label that feels appropriate and feels most accurate, then that's awesome.
What do you if you're gay/lesbian and in a homophobic environment?
It's always challenging to exist in an environment where you know outright that people are not accepting of you, and to have to keep yourself hidden from that. I would say if you have to remain in that environment, it's important to find another environment to go outside of that where you can be yourself. Whether that is an in-person community or an online space, find a safe, accessible space where you can be truthful about who you are and not have to keep it fully inside. This way, you can better coexist as a safer, authentic version of yourself while you're forced to still be in this unsafe environment. Hopefully, there will be a time you can leave that environment, though that's not always possible for everybody. Some people are forced to remain in a toxic environment, so I'd say to supplement it with a place that does feel good.
What do you do with a crush on your best friend?
It's always a challenge to have a crush on a friend who is (in theory) straight when you are not, especially if you are not quite sure where they stand. So many people have been through that experience. It's challenging because you have choices to make (you always have agency), but their choices might not always result in the best outcomes.

You could spare the friendship and keep this to yourself because you don't know whether the person, first of all, is queer, and second of all, if the person would want to be more than friends with you. Maybe they're content with the friendship, and you could risk ruining the friendship and or having an awkward hurdle to go over. It's possible the hurdle would not be insurmountable, but it would likely be an awkward moment.

You could share your feelings because you don't want to bottle up your feelings and keep them to yourself. For what it's worth, I would typically never advocate for bottling things up. You could share your feelings, but I think it's important to be aware of the risks.

I would recommend talking to other people around you, such as other trusted friends, and going through the possibilities with them. Weigh the pros and cons of bottling up your feelings or putting them out there. Once you've gone through those possibilities, I'd see which one feels most authentic to you and go from there.
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Co-authored Articles (10)

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